Today's my first day off in 12 days and with a couple extra hours of sleep this morning, I almost feel anew...
I get a lot of questions about how I manage internship with having a baby at home. The answer always boils down to having amazing family support (the "it-takes-a-village" approach, i.e. what would we do without Beth and Steve??) and not trying to be super-mom. There are compromises involved on both sides, but when in balance, I feel lucky to be both a doctor and a mom. It's like having your cake and eating it, too.
Even before I had Sam, it always seemed to be difficult to get out the door at the right time. When I was pregnant, I had a hard time imaging what daily life would look like once a baby was in the picture. The answer seems to be to allow enough time for things to come up, and to be flexible about the order in which you do things... and keep a detailed calendar plastered to the refrigerator.
...and learn to function on less sleep...
Here's how it works on a typical day:
5:30-5:545 wake up
5:45-6:30 shower, pump while eating breakfast (or nurse if the timing works out), pack food, leave house
6:15 Kyle wakes up Sam, packs up the milk and drives him to Beth and Steve's house. Steve now goes into work a little later to cover Sam in the early morning while Beth gets her daily walk and yoga routine in.
7:00 Sara and Kyle both arrive at work
7:00-12:00 Various medical duties
11:30-1:00 Run to a call room to pump, eat lunch at lecture
1:00-6:00 More medical duties and +/- get to pump for the 3rd time that day
3:30-6:00 Kyle leaves work and coaches the Paideia girls' Ultimate team
5:00-8:00 I leave work and pick Sam up. Depending on the day, this time varies. Usually 15-30 min to get to Beth and Steve's house. Spend 15-30 min with them, recapping the day, +/- pumping if Sam just ate and I didn't get to do it earlier in the afternoon. Then 20-30 min back home. Sometimes takes me 90-120 min to get from work back to home.
6:00-8:00 Depending on the time, I may prepare dinner/heat up leftovers/call Kyle for take-out. Sam may or may not get a bath depending on how sleepy he is/how late I got him home. I nurse him and he's usually asleep by 730/8.
8:00-9:30 Eat dinner, organize my plan for patients for the following day/ read part of an article, or watch a little tv. Drink some wine.
9:00-10:00 Pump one last time, go to bed
3:30 Sam usually wakes up around now. Kyle changes him and brings him back to bed so I can nurse him.
4:30 I wake up realizing Sam's done nursing and has been asleep next to me for who-knows how long, so I get up and put him back in his crib. On a rough night, we do this twice, but most of the time, just once.
5:30-5:45 wake up and do it all over again
I feel tired just reading over this schedule! It certainly isn't sustainable, but it's do-able for the time being. Luckily, each month my rotation and schedule changes (April's looking good!) and Kyle's particularly busy Feb-May balancing work and coaching. Sometimes I worry that we're packing in too much; is it irresponsible of us to be trying to parent at the same time? How about the days when I only see Sam for 5 min in the morning and 30 min at night? Or the nights I'm on call and don't see him for 30+ hours?
I have to remind myself that I'm investing in my future career, a livelihood for my family. I'd rather be busy now when Sam doesn't realize that I'm away than when he's older. I also take comfort knowing that we are a true multi-generational household. When I arrive to pick him up and find Steve playing peek-a-boo or Beth rocking him to meditation chant music, I realize that I'm the only one who's stressed about being away from Sam. He, on the other hand, is thriving and adapting to the diversity of care he's receiving from all of us.
Thanks to Abba and Chief for all of your love and support!
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