The Match

So, the results are in; I will be spending my intern year in a transitional program here at Emory, then on to University of Washington in Seattle for 3 years of anesthesiology training.

I've been processing this news ever since Thursday and I think it's slowly starting to settle in. In the first few moments after opening the letter and reading where I'd been "matched," I felt a bit confused and somewhat disappointed and sad. I had been trying to stay here in Atlanta for all 4 years for a number of reasons: Kyle could keep his job and continue to coach Ultimate for the Paideia girls, we could keep our house, and we'd be near Beth and Steve. Not to mention, with a baby on the way, the fewer disruptions we have in life, the better. I felt immediately sad that we're moving away from Beth and Steve and overwhelmed by what that means for raising a child.

As moments passed, I started remembering how much I liked the program in Seattle. I hit it off really well with my interviewers and felt like I "fit" there. Additionally, it's known to be one of the top 10 programs in the country, a reputation that Emory does not have. So, from a professional standpoint, this match result is awesome.

I also thought about how much fun Kyle and I had while visiting there. Before we knew we were pregnant, we discussed ranking it first. Thankfully, Kyle is amazingly supportive and thoughtful. The night before the Match, he said to me, "You know, if we end up in Seattle, it's going to be really cool." I guess we're trading stability and predictability for adventure and exploration. It reminds me of how I felt when I was 21, moving out to Colorado in a station wagon with all of my belongings-- excited and a little apprehensive, but optimistic!

The other fortunate aspect of the match is that I'll be here in Atlanta for the next year. This gives Kyle and I plenty of time to navigate the various logistics of moving (finding a job for Kyle, selling the house, packing, relocating cross-country). The transitional year program is also a blessing in and of itself. Every anesthesiology resident is required to complete an intern year; it can be in medicine, surgery, or a so-called "transitional year." The transitional year program gives me a little bit of everything: a few months of ward medicine, some critical care, emergency medicine, a number of electives and a schedule that is not nearly as demanding as some of the other options (i.e. a year of surgery).

All in all, I feel extremely thankful for the match results and am ready to look toward the future with excitement!

Week 10

So, here we are at week 10. Time has been going by pretty quickly because I'm on my busiest and most demanding rotation of my medical education- the SICU. I'm on a four day schedule: day 1 is precall: 5am-3pm, day 2 is overnight call: 5am to 10am the following day, day 3 post call: go home and sleep, day 4: off, sleep as long as possible... Waking to the 430am alarm has become routine. I jump up, run into the bathroom where I've already set out my scrubs, pour milk over cereal and eat it in the car on the way to the hospital. I'm bed to ICU in 30 minutes.

Having this schedule while pregnant has not been as bad as I imagined, though I will be extremely relieved when it's over. The resident whom I'm paired with is a mother to a 16yo girl, so I shared my news with her and she's been watching out for me ever since. She makes me sleep for 2-3 hours on our call nights even if she doesn't get to sleep at all. Being busy like this has been a nice distraction. Sometimes I feel so tired, but I can't tell if it's more the schedule or the pregnancy; I guess it's both.

Weeks 9-13 development: my uterus is the size of a grapefruit and Champ is no longer an embryo but is now a fetus: 2.5-3 inches long with a whirled hair patter, taste buds, soft nails, and it's starting to urinate the amniotic fluid.

Now a word on the symptoms of early pregnancy:

1) Fatigue: check. However, while a friend who is 12 weeks pregnant says she's napping all the time, I'm getting less sleep this month than ever before. Mostly, I feel weak and uninterested in exercising. I have some guilt about this, but I'll get back into work outs after this rotation is over.

2) Frequent Urination: check. I noticed this around week 4 and thought I was making it up. I knew that frequent urination is common in 3rd trimester because of pressure to the bladder, but I hadn't realized it's also common in the 1st because of increasing hormones. At work, I try to carry my water bottle around during morning rounds and if I'm not presenting, I slip off to the bathroom whenever possible.

3) Breast changes: check. Also noticed it very early in the first month, but now may need to buy new bras. Luckily, the tenderness if decreasing some, so maybe I can start appreciating the change in body habitus.

4) Nausea: luckily, I haven't thrown up since high school when I drank too much alcohol at my first party. I still have a few weeks left before the nausea window closes, so I don't want to jinx it, but it hasn't been nearly as bad as I expected. I made an early preemptive strike by trying to eat as often as possible and drinking plenty of water. The weird thing I've been experience is more bloating and belching. The belching used to make me feel nauseated until I realized what it was; air is ok, other things are not.

5) Food cravings/aversions: The first month I craved tuna fish and pickles. Lately, I've been craving anything comfort food. I even tried to make a ground beef/potato/carrot casserole that my mom used to make for me as a kid. No one remembers the recipe so I made it up, but pretty much anything meat and potatoes is good right now.

6) Emotional liability: I'd have to ask Kyle about this one, but I think I've been relatively calm for the past few weeks. I'm tired all the time, so I haven't been particularly energetic, but nor am I cranky or moody.

In non-pregnancy news, the Match Day is 3 days away. This is the day when every 4th year medical student finds out where they will be doing their residency training. As an anethesiology resident, I will also need to do an intern (1st) year in something: internal medicine, surgery, or a "transitional year." The intern year and the 3 year anesthesiology residency can be done at different institutions. I am very much hoping to do both here at Emory so that Kyle and I won't be uprooted from our house, his job, or his parents. However, I'm fully prepared to make the best of whatever happens. Today, I received the news that I definitely matched into a program, now we just wait to find out which one!

Beginnings

Ever since we got married, Kyle's been brainstorming baby names. Actually, he probably discussed it when we first started dating, over 6 years ago. His favorites seem to me more fitting of a dog or an NFL player: Plexico, Boy Blue, Peyton, Avon Barksdale, Champ. Ok, I might be exaggerating; he wants to name our dog Avon, not the baby. To be fair, he also has some good suggestions, particularly for female names, but I won't list them here lest I reveal a future name!

Previously, I referred to this creature as "the fetus" (although technically, we're still in the embryo stage). I know it seems callus and overly technical, but I didn't want to give it a cutesy name without knowing its chances of survival. At our first ultrasound, all we could see was a yolk sac, a dark black, lifeless hole.

Yesterday, we went in for our viability ultrasound and saw/heard the doppler heart beat for the first time. We could also see the little thing wiggling around. Suddenly, this pregnancy is starting to feel REAL. Giving the creature a name seems appropriate.

However, we're also still pretty early in the scheme of things: 8 weeks according to the 2.05cm crown-rump length (CRL) measurement yesterday.

So, 5 more weeks to go in this first trimester before we can relax a little and share the news with the world. So, in honor of Kyle's weird naming antics, I dub thee: Champ. A name for winning battles, a name destined for success, a name for thriving over the next 32 gestational weeks.

In the image, you can see the head on the left, taking up more than half the CRL. The two darker circular areas are where the brain is developing. We could see the heart beating around the top of the "belly bulge" and there are leg and arm buds appearing. The umbilical cord is descending around 7 o'clock to the growing placenta.

Most of the time, I feel relieved that pregnancy takes so long. I feel like I need plenty of time to prepare for this change, both physically and mentally. I know it's important to bond with the little one as it's developing, but as I am just finishing my med school training, I know all too well the twists and turns that fate can take in a pregnancy. I am cautiously optimistic. Even my OB told me that she didn't reveal her news to her mother until she was 13 weeks. I understand where she is coming from.

Kyle, on the other hand, is practically bursting with excitement. He asked me yesterday if we could soon "tell the world" and asked when I will "post the news on Facebook." For me, it's one small step at a time. Today, naming the little thing was a big one.

Welcome to life, Champ!